Yo dont text me then not text me
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I will pee on everything he values.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
