I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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