I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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