Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
