is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
