so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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