yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
