The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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