We won't sleep together?
I'm jealous of your bromance
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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