Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
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