she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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