my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize