Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
