i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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