I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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