in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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