Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
