you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
