I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
