people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm too high and old for this...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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