i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This baby is an asshole
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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