so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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