ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
