New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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