I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And then my night got REAL pukey
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
