I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
3 2 1 whiskey
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
