I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think I just shit out all my problems.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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