so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
