just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
