There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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