Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize