I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
