Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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