At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
