i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
