I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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