Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
