There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
id be glad to
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
