dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
