youre lurking in front of me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
