Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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