the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
