i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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