had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
