we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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