awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
whose parrot is this?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
