There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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