It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
