And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
