As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
