He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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