Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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