I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
