I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
