chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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