Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize