Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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