I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
