what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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