He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it's like iHOP with fire
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Randomize
