take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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