the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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