drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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