That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
