It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
