i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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