I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
