whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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