Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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